Well, I do. I am Brian Rountree and for the past 20 years I have shared my life, my love, my fears, my hopes and my dreams with Hugh Donagher; the best thing that ever has or will happen to me. But I am not very good with the emotional sides of the relationship equation. I never have been. In the first 10 years of our marriage, I forgot 25% of Hugh's birthdays and around 20% of our anniversaries.
It is not that I don't love Hugh, I do, very much so. I am simply not wired in a way that can frame, think about, and express all of the soft and fuzzy parts of the human condition. My general lack of talent with the emotive aspects of life used to bother me a great deal. I married the man of my dreams, a man I will gladly, happily spend the rest of my life with, why couldn't I remember his birthday? Why did I never think of buying flowers for no reason whatsoever? This used to weigh heavily on me.
Year after year. Decade after decade at this point! Our relationship survives because we choose for it to survive. We work, together, to face whatever this crazy world throws at us. And somewhere along the way, Hugh and I figured a few things out. Love is not the fairy tale we tell little children. It's amazing and hard and deliberate and thoughtful. And at the end of the day, you are what you are. Your partner in life must love all of it. Not parts of it. Love is work. It's the most important work. It is that simple, yet so few people in the world truly understand what that means.
I will never be the man that remembers important dates, surprises Hugh with flowers, or notices the subtle hints about what Hugh may want for Christmas; but Hugh still loves me. I am, as we enter our third decade together, at peace with who I am and confident in my relationship. I don't have to be perfect, I just have to be Brian.
For this, I owe Hugh a lifetime of thanks.
I have made no effort whatsoever to make this site cross browser, as Hugh only uses two browsers on his mac that I am aware of. If you are viewing this site using a less capable browser, your experience may be less than ideal. I am fine with that, as this site, ultimately is for the two of us.
20 years allows for a large time period of data collection. Below, you will see just a few of the data points that I find interesting about my favorite person.
For 20 years, Hugh and I have heard that our relationship is an attack on the traditional definition of marriage. That the love I have for Hugh is in someway responsible for the breakdown of society.
Ok, we will temporarily grant the argument. Below you will find the census statistics for divorces in California and Texas for the period of time that we have lived in both places. I suppose we will look upon this data and proclaim all 2.5 million divorces as victories!
But if are we to address the problem that 20 years of our marriage is causing, let us focus on the important one. Our marriage, and indeed all same sex marriages are having a terribly destructive effect on celebrity relationships.
But Think Of The Celebrities!!!
The Donagher 2 version 3 love machine takes two inputs. On the input side, it accepts two young men. While we cannot divulge the secrect processes at play inside the machine, the output is obvious. One strong, loving couple; a little bit wiser, a little bit wider, and a whole lot older.